Updated: Sep 4
Are you holding vigil to an image of yourself stuck in the past? Here are 10 ways to help you let go of the past and move on.
It's June, empaths, so buckle up! There's lots of energy ahead for you to make big on the dreams, promises and moves you've been working towards.
This month, look back to see where you want to add-on or where you can pull up the slack and take things to the next level but try not to slow to a halt. The energies right now are gently ramping up to crescendo by the summer solstice. You won't want to miss this opportunity for amazing growth now ahead. Refer to last moon's blog post for more on this, as it will be relevant for the next while, building up to the Lion's Gate. (You can still read last year's Lion's Gate post here)
If you've been struggling with self-doubt and second guessing yourself, I suggest looking at where in your life you don't feel fully in control and start there. You might have to draw a boundary, say something you've been holding back, or completely cut something off to take your power back.
In today's post I'm going to share with you my go-to methods for leaving the past behind. It's not always easy to let go of past hurts and some of us brood over things longer than we should, even when we know it's not helping us. If you've got a lot of fixed energy in your chart like Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius or Taurus, you'll know what I mean.
Below are some of the things that I do when I'm ruminating or struggling to let go of the past. If you're trying to move on from a painful experience and you're stuck, I hope you find these tips useful.
1. Find your Why's. For many people, starting at the mental plane is easiest. Engage your logical brain to let go of the past and think of all the reasons why that old situation, identity or past hurt is keeping you small. Write down any motivations for not changing, or what you're getting out of staying entangled with the old. Contemplate your list on your own for a couple of days and see what happens, or, take it to the next level and call on a friend. Explain your list to someone you can trust to call you out on your bullshit. Tap into your inner coach to remind you WHY it's important for you to move on, like you would with any other mental block keeping you from achieving your goals.
You need to get some distance from what it is you're trying to move away from. Disentangling at the mental plane can be a good place to begin, but what if you are just plain stuck in feelings of remorse or bitterness, especially if you might not get that apology you're seeking? There are lots of resources in this article to help with that.
2. Focus on what is in front of you. Constantly ruminating about the past robs you of time and energy to live in the present and take advantage of new opportunities. Be more mindful of how you might be unconsciously re-enacting outdated patterns out of habit. If you're always anticipating an outcome based on past injury, you're not giving yourself a chance to have a different experience. Refuse to be chained to the energy of a ghost from your past, especially now that no new family patterns are being created and karma itself is being deleted. Don't believe me? Check out the latest from Oracle Girl for more on this.
3. Make peace with what hurt you. Practice Ho'oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian prayer to restore mental balance and forgive others. Ask yourself, what was the lesson? Acknowledge your role in what happened and apologize to others, when appropriate. Then you can move on with a light heart knowing that even if you're hurting inside, you have made the effort to accept responsibility and to forgive another. Even if you don't get that apology you're seeking, it's important that you try from your end. Deep humility can help open up the higher spiritual bodies and bring about even better states of wellness and relaxation. Forgiving others is also usually easier than forgiving ourselves, so it's a good first step to get the energy moving in the right direction.
4. Forgive yourself. Remember you're always growing and learning and we must be gentle with ourselves. Remind yourself that you're not the same person now that you were then. Contemplate messages from the goddess of self-forgiveness and compassion, Quan Yin. If you're struggling with guilt and shame, EFT is an amazing tool to have in your spiritual toolbox. If you haven't yet tried EFT to help you release trapped emotions related to a specific memory or past trauma, you'll be delighted with the results, I promise you. EFT radically changed my life when I was in my 20s when I couldn't get relief from all the stuff that started to surface for purification after my Awakening. You can read more about EFT and its success rate in treating anxiety, depression and PTSD here.
5. Dialogue with your Inner Child. Go deeper. Have you got your inner child on board with you to tackle the future with more levity and trust? Ask yourself if maybe the person you really need to say sorry to is your own inner child. Dialoguing through automatic writing, or stream of consciousness journalling, can help you identify where you need to have better boundaries in the future and stand up for yourself more. It can also show you where your blindspots are. Are you too trusting? Do you treat yourself like you want to be treated? This kind of brutally honest relationship can turn your inner child into your ally instead of a skittish saboteur.
We can only benefit from the spontaneity and magic that our inner child has to offer when they are happy and integrated in our psyche, not trapped in a parallel reality. Negotiating with your inner child to understand their emotional needs is something that should be done often, not just once. A healthy and happy inner child can help you not sweat the small things and be more playful. Plus, a deeper relationship with your inner child will boost your confidence to take risks since you know you can trust that you are the one looking out for your own good and not putting you or your inner child in harm's way. This is how we can live from a place of more meaning.
6. Be grateful for the small things. Refocus your energy to look at what IS working in your life and where you are lucky, healthy and looked after. Sometimes this means getting down to the basics like appreciating your physical body for what it does for you, the roof over your head, running water, electricity, the food in your pantry, the smile on your dog's face when you come home, your imperfect car that gets you from A to B, etc. When we are stuck in the past ruminating about what went wrong or what's stuck, it can be really helpful to reframe our perspective on our lives by focusing on the good things. You can keep a gratitude journal but personally I like to keep this technique in my back pocket for when I'm brooding and really need to give myself a kick in the pants, which brings me to Tip #7.
7. Be mindful of your energy. Where is your story consuming you? Are you leaking energy as a result of it? Practising good energy management or psychic hygiene is a must when you are further along the path in your spiritual awakening. It's important to not let yourself become a playground for destructive energies like guilt, blame and shame. If you find that you 'play' in these grey zones too often, you should ask yourself, where are you not in healthy control and are letting energy leak? Your job as an empath is to manage your own energy responsibly. If you're not in control of what you're feeling or thinking most of the time, you leave yourself susceptible to manipulation, parasitism, and you can even become an unwitting instrument for abusive energies towards others. You don't want that.
8. Allow yourself time to process. Some people are able to process their stuff immediately, within a few hours (or days) of it surfacing. But if that's not you and you're not yet a pro with your process, you'll need to make sure you give yourself the time you need to deal with what's bothering you. As the saying goes, you need to feel it to heal it. Repressing your emotions around something you know for sure is yours will not transmute anything. You need to really shine the light of consciousness on it so make time for it.
If you find old stuff is coming up constantly, or at inopportune times, consider dedicating a time to grieve and process, then get on with your day. If you know that you have time carved out to process your sh*t later, you'll have less anxiety about it. You're not repressing it, you're deliberately arranging for yourself to do it in the near future. You can move on from the past more quickly when you have a regular weekly slot to process or brood over the things that are bothering you, instead of letting things pile up.
9. Practise the art of non-attachment. Lastly, remember, at any point, YOU'LL BE OKAY! If you can let go of the attachment to being right, you'll make a lot of headway in moving forward, even if you've felt very bitter about it. Practise non-attachment to the past and how others hurt you by remembering that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. You don't have to excuse others' behaviour, but you needn't carry your grudge to the grave, either. Focusing more in the NOW can help alleviate the anxiety that comes with making a bold step forward. Are you okay right this moment? Ask yourself if you are too invested in an identity that isn't helping you. You have a choice to stop identifying with the pain or depression you're experiencing and leave it behind. You don't have to bring that identity forward with you into the future.
Human beings are actually antifgragile. We grow as a result of difficulties we go through. Whatever it is, remind yourself that you will get through it. So just take a leap and move forward despite what all your fears about leaving the comfort of the usual suspects behind.
10. Make it official. My last tip for letting go of the past is to commit and celebrate with ceremony to make it official. Decide that you're going to make steps forward, no matter how small, no matter how much doubt you have. You can always course correct later. Anxiety stops in its tracks once a firm decision is made. Have a bath or a goodbye ritual to cement your decision to change and conjure energy for a fresh start. Burn something that represents what or who you're leaving behind. Black moons and Full moons are best for burning rituals and for leaving the past behind.
Learning how to let go of the past will depend on your unique situation and your own level of emotional maturity but everyone has the ability to change. Healing is absolutely within your reach. If you're still struggling to let something go that's been bothering you for a while, consider booking a Deep Dive session with me.
I really hope you enjoyed this article on how to let go of the past. Which was your favourite tip? Have you got any that you'd like to share? Leave them in the comments!
Until next time,
x with Love on your Journey