Growing up, I didn't know I was an empath or a Starseed but I sure spent a lot of time alone.
I had a secluded spot in the woods near my house where I’d sit atop large mossy stones to daydream and just be alone with my own energy. When I wasn't hiding out in my room, I'd beg my mum to take me to the library for the peace and quiet.
I didn’t know it then but I was spending time alone with myself to help me recover from picking up on others’ energies.
I might have been too young to understand, but energy doesn’t lie. As sensitive as I was, I needed alone time away from the hysteria and busyness of my neurotic mother and the emotional vampirism of my cannibalistic father.
What happens to Starseeds and Empaths when they don't get enough alone time?
Even if I’m around positive and well-intentioned people, it’s not enough. I NEED that alone time.
In the early stages, things are unpleasant but they're not unbearable. I might get impatient, irritable, confused, indecisive, and mildly anxioius.
But say I am visiting family out of town or I'm at a weeklong group event and I'm constantly surrounded by others, that's when things turn ugly. When I can't regroup in solitude, not only will I feel out of sorts and ungrounded, but my willpower may start to tank.
That's when I become a gremlin.
Accept your need for quiet alone time
Honestly, the years I spent "finding myself" have truly paid off. Life really started to flow for me once I surrendered to who I truly am.
I’m not just an introvert. I’m a highly psychic and sensitive empath. As such, part of my self-care involves my psychic energy management (PEM). This means daily connection to my inner being through meditation and deliberate alone time where I can just FEEL myself and my own energy.
I don’t fight my introversion or sensitivity any longer. I'm choosey with my inner circle and prefer close friends who are also spiritual, intuitive and introverted. What's best about that is I can express who I really am ALL THE TIME. Plus I don't get a lot of invitations for loud, crowded events by people who want to talk at me all night.
I’ve learned to embrace my need for quiet and solitude because I function better that way. A quiet retreat (alone or with friends) is a healing gift in an extroverted world that is just too loud and busy for me.
Having your own space
Connecting to my own energy has become one of my ‘dailies’. If I have Airbnb guests whose energy doesn't jive with mine, I'll close the door in my room and bring in my aura (grabbing onto it and gathering it towards me like a set of curtains). It helps keep my energy from mixing with theirs.
This is why I’ll often tell my clients who are healers and energy workers that they need to have their own sacred space where they can retreat to to cleanse and recharge.
Usually I suggest cleaning and clearing the bedroom of any clutter, placing sacred objects around, and not letting others into this space if at all possible (like hyperactive children, needy pets or pushy relatives). If your spouse sleeps in the room with you, that’s fine.
Watching TV or playing video games in your room doesn't make for a very sacred space, though.
Feeling depleted, stressed, angry, impatient or sad? Take 5 minutes to connect to your own energy by spending some time completely alone, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do so.
Once you learn to do this, you’ll be astounded at how quickly you find your equilibrium again. This isn’t meditating so you don’t need a lot of time and it doesn’t have to be difficult. You just need to engage your natural abilities as an empath.
How to feel your own energy
It’s as simple as focusing your attention on the sensations in your body and turning inward. Not with your mind but with your 6th sense of empathic feeling: your clairsentience.
First, focus on the feeling in your hands. Move your attention to your chest, neck, and head. Concentrate on feeling what it's like to be in your body. What do your legs feel like? What are you sitting or lying down on?
Now try to feel the energy around your body. Can you describe it? Put it into words. Do you seem calm or tense? Angry or uplifted? Carefree or rigid? Do you sense your energy as focused or scattered?
Under all the anxiety and mind chatter, how do you feel to yourself?
When you're first 'coming online' as a clairsentient, or empath, and you don't have a lot of experience with energy boundaries, you might feel a lot of anxiety. It's important to question whether what you're feeling is even your own.
Empaths easily pick up worries and lower emotional states from the people around them with their telepathy, their energetic openness, and their magnetism.
Wifi signals, loud, continuous noise, bright fluorescent lights, and even too many simple carbohydrates can make you feel anxious.
Remove these variables for a few minutes a day, especially by going into a quiet park, and see if you can’t separate yourself from the state of anxiety you’re so used to living with.
What’s underneath? What’s your energy really like?
Why knowing your own energy is useful
Knowing your energy signature is helpful for shaping who you want to become and can even help you to attract the kind of mate you’re seeking.
Focus on your unique energy now. Are you happy with it? Is this who you want to be? You are your energy and you’ll attract experiences and relationships that vibrate at the same frequency you’re sending out.
If you’re not satisfied with what your energy feels like, if that’s what you don’t want, then NOW YOU KNOW.
Tuning in is a highly useful tool for Starseeds and empaths to shift their frequency. It helps you gauge where you are and change what isn’t working for you.
Let’s say you feel that your energy is uptight and rigid. Knowing that, you can actively work on being more in flow. Or maybe you feel that you’re contemptuous. You can use that to pinpoint your shadow work more accurately.
Maybe your energy seems a bit meek and unsure. You may start to look at your relationships and question if someone you’re close with isn’t draining your energy or causing you to question your competence?
Connecting to your own energy is also helpful because it builds up your clairsentience muscle. You become more refined at identifying and distinguishing energy signatures in others and even in objects.
Empaths are like crystals
Empaths, it's healthy to connect to yourself. It will keep you sane and high-vibe in this loud and chaotic net planet. It will help you stay grounded and not overrun by incessant anxiety.
It will keep you high-powered and focused.
Think of yourself like a crystal. I wrap my large crystals in black cloth when I’m not using them. I “put them to bed” to be with their own energy when I’m not using them. Otherwise they absorb foreign energies from the environment and need to be cleansed more often.
If you’re acting hysterical, if your mind is racing with anxious, disjointed thoughts, you’ve picked up too many foreign energies. How effective are you going to be as an autonomous energy source or as a creator being with your energy all scattered like that?
The best remedy is to find a quiet spot in nature as quickly as possible. If that’s not feasible, then just find a quiet spot to connect to yourself, even if that means locking yourself in the bathroom.
Remember, as a Starseed you’re highly magnetic, open, and sensitive to energy. Like a crystal, you pick up energies, read what’s inside and either store or amplify them. That’s part of your makeup. Therefore it pays to be discerning about what you’re picking up :)
Psychic energy management is critical for empaths. We NEED to spend time alone with our own energy and reset in nature.
Try this first the next time you’re feeling restless, self-destructive, anxious or irritable. It might just be the medicine you need.
with Love on your journey