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  • Writer's pictureDebra

Empaths and Energy Leaks

Empaths and energy leaks are like oil and water; they don't mix. But what is an energy leak exactly and why are they an empath's worst enemy?

In today's post I'll illustrate some classic examples of energy leaks that empaths tend to unconsciously create in relationships and why it's important to rectify them.

Why energy leaks are especially detrimental to empaths

  1. Energy is an empath's most vital resource. Because empaths feel everything, draining relationships are especially debilitating to your health, creativity and productivity

  2. Permitting energy leaks means you're not walking the talk of self-love. You're acting as if you don't value yourself or your energy

  3. Energy leaks weaken your aura and lower your frequency, keeping you from manifesting satisfying, nurturing, high-vibe relationships and leaving you more susceptible to psychic interference.

  4. Ignoring energy leaks send a signal out to the universe telling it that you want more of the same.

  5. Energy leaks perpetuate the rescuer/ martyr program, which many empaths came here to consciously override for the benefit of future generations

Let's move on to some classic examples of energy leaks.

Energy Leaks with Yourself

When you continue to do a job, activity or engage in a behaviour you know you shouldn't. You know that you hate it or that it's bad for you. You know that it makes you feel contemptuous towards yourself when you do it. You know that you are not being true to yourself when you engage in that activity or behaviour. That's a very basic energy leak that needs to be culled.

Lying is another form of energy leak because each time you say or do something that isn't in alignment with your core values, you are adding energy to your false persona for the purpose of pleasing others. That's cowardly and it's not spiritual.

Being spiritual takes bravery to truly be who you are and the discipline to still be kind to others.

Energy Leaks in Friendship

Imagine this scenario:

An old friend you care about deeply has got herself into a pickle…yet again. She texts you to say she’s popping over for a tea and a quick chat, despite your protests that you’ve got laundry to do and 50 Etsy orders to complete. For the second time this week your friend unpacks her many problems unto you without taking a single breath and letting her tea go cold.

As always, you listen attentively, patiently. When she’s exhausted herself, she finally asks you what you think. Here’s your chance to be the good friend you like being with her. You offer a few tidbits of sage, carefully worded advice based on your outside perspective and empathic intuition. Each bit of advice is met with a "yes, but..." and a tenuous excuse for why your suggestions just won’t work for her.

She squeezes your arm and says something about how she envies your simple life and how wonderful it must be to have things always just work out for you. After she leaves, energized, eyes sparkling, telling you how much she counts on you for being a friend who’ll always listen to her, you sigh with relief. You’re exhausted just from following her disjointed thoughts and emotional stories.

Energy Leaks with Clients

Maybe you know this one:

A new client contacts you for energy healing, having seen your card at a coffee shop. She shows up early for her appointment and bristles when you ask her to kindly wait because you're just in the middle of something.

After the intake form she explains that she’s on disability and she can’t pay your regular fee. Would you work with her pro-bono? Just for a few weeks? Because she heard you’re an amazing healer and she really needs your help. If she could just get a handle on her Fibromayalgia, she could go back to work and be able to put food on the table for her two kids.

As an empath, you feel her suffering. You see her beat-up car outside with the child seat, knowing how hard it must be to be a single mum. You naturally want to relieve her suffering. If you could just help her get a leg up, it could make all the difference. Who are you to not help someone in need if you can? So you agree to see her once a week, pro-bono until her symptoms improve.

But over the weeks you notice she’s missing appointments and she’s not doing her part to continue the healing inbetween sessions. When she does show up, smelling of cigarette smoke, sometimes she's stoned. You start to resent her for taking advantage of your kindness. Doesn’t she see that you are doing her a favour? How can she afford to be smoking and not even offer you some compensation for your time? Is she even serious about getting better?

Yet when you have these thoughts about her, you feel guilty. You feel like a bad person for thinking of yourself first. You tell yourself it must be so hard to be her and not to judge. So you quickly bury those thoughts because that's not very spiritual of you, is it?

Over-Givers and Over-Takers

Both of these dynamics clearly point out imbalances in the exchange of energy between the players. This is why it's called an Energy Leak.